All Change at the Top as St Pad Sends a Message

Kodama jansou was busy on Saint Patrick’s Day with most of the tables in use (not that the Japanese were aware that it was Saint Paddy’s Day) and the Cock’s Eye Club also had a good turnout with five players playing and five games played. Of those five players, four were Johnny Foreigners, and of those four three have some degree of the Paddy in them, and of those three the middle name of one is… Paddy – the one with the Irish surname to boot.

Jaime and Tim had both returned from their holidays and were hanging out at Kembys so the first game was between Noda, David, Ray and Kenyon. That game went to Ray and at some point during the course of it Kenyan committed a chombo though I forget what it was now.

Noda then claimed a hand off Kenyon by “robbing the “Kong” (as it is called in the Western game). Kenyon turned an open Pon into an open Kan after Noda had declared Riichi and Noda tutted and went out – Ron! We had to remind ourselves of the rule, which is that if you have a Yaku and are Tenpai you can go out if someone turns an open Pon into a Kan. You can also go out if you are Tenpai on Kokushimusou and someone claims a hidden Kan with the tile that you need.

Noda’s charge was reduced to zero by Ray’s +21 victory. David came in at -4 and Kenyon at -17.

When Jaime arrived we agreed to play with all five players in and rotate around the table. Kenyon received lashings of loot from Jaime and David after covering classes for them in recent days and he was also hoping to receive lashings more to make up for his disastrous loss of form at the table. Now that Kenyon’s wallet was bulging I wondered whether Fortune would not favour him tonight for Fortune, being a woman, tends to favour bulging wallets over empty sacks and it has often been noted that he who comes impoverished to the table often leaves in dire straits.

After a few weeks away from the table, would Jaime relinquish his recent mahjong winnings?

Er, not at all.

Midway through the second game, while Jaime was piling up the winnings he pointed out a peculiar phenomenon – that Kenyon was drinking and the PLC was not… Well, it is Lent… Ah, but it is St Patrick’s day and the PLC is 1/8th Irish and two out of three of his names are Irish and here comes Tim with a bag of Peruvian knitted finger puppets. Tim also claims some Irish blood – making it four out of five Johnny foreigners in the joint now professing Paddy parentage… At that point the PLC said “Bugger Lent,” and he and Tim ordered beer to celebrate St Pad and Tim’s return – so the Resident Non Paddy also ordered a beer. By now the only non-drinker amongst us was the Paddiest of us all – Ray!

The Resident Non Paddy completed his first game in a month on a seemingly effortless +66. In short, St Pad had abandoned Ray midway through the game and gone over to the drinkers’ party; D. Patrick Hurley came in second-and-in-the-black and Kenyon was also blessed with his second best result of the evening (-13).

Saint Pad had not finished with us yet. In the next game he blessed all three foreigners who had taken a glass of beer – and the results prove it! The PLC, with Patrick in his name, came top on +66, the RNP, specially favoured for overall victory, finished on +33 (the value of Francis Bacon’s surname!), a most auspicious score, while even Kenyon came in ahead on +16. Now let us add up the score:

66 + 33 + 16 = 115 = 1 + 1 + 5 = 7 = Perfect!

But how do I know that the message was from St Pad? Because Noda, who, being Japanese and therefore a nominal Shinto-Buddhist, doesn’t count in the calculation, finished on -15. Ray, however, finished on -100 so clearly St. Pad was sending him a message and he left his signature on it:

115 – 100 = 15. 15 = P. P = Patrick!

Don’t tell me that the 15th letter of the alphabet = O. St Pad was a Latin scholar and the Latin alphabet omits J so, as I say, 15 = P!

Clearly, then, the message was:

“Greetings, Sons of Christendom, Ye Who Drink a Toast in My Name and Curses to Ye Who Do Not!”

Ray’s Suuanko hand could do nothing to reverse the verdict of St P.

Good bloke, old St Pad, and in light of this the PLC ordered another beer.

The results were impressive! David Patrick finished the fourth game top again, this time on +56.

Noda beetled off home after the end of the third game, only his second defeat of the year. David Patrick looked like finishing as the only winner of the fourth game when Jaime ended the game by claiming some points of him to finish on +1! He then went on to finish on +2 in the fifth to complete four games in the row in positive territory.

The fifth game went to Ray. By now all the drinking had stopped and so the Drinking-to-St-Pad factor was in abeyance – and therefore the Paddiest of them all would naturally be expected to emerge as the winner of the game, which is what happened. The famous “Ray Revival” kicked in and Ray finished on +53 with Jaime on +2. David signed off for the evening on zero and so in the fifth game Kenyon had to bear the burden of defeat alone…

The final scores were:

David: -4, +17, +66, +56, 0 = +135
Jaime: –, +66, +33, +1, +2 = +102
Noda: 0, -58, -15 = -73
Ray: +21, -12, -100, -37, +53 = -75
Kenyon: -17, -13, +16, -20, -55 = -89

Tonight’s results had a dramatic effect on the Grand Accumulated Results Table.

Before St Pad’s:

Noda: +225
Jaime: +150
Ray : +38
David: -52
Eri : -104
Kenyon : -257

After St Pad’s:

Jaime: +252
Noda: +152
David: +83
Ray: -37
Eri: -104
Kenyon: -346

David Hurley

1 Comment

  1. Are you certain it was me Noda went Ron on by “robbing the kong”? I thought maybe it was Ray. I think I was out when it happened.

    Also for the grand score table:

    1&2 flip
    3&4 flip
    5&6 CEMENTED

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